I dink I hab a code...

Admittedly, I haven't read Dan Brown's novel The DaVinci Code, but it seems to me that a LOT of people are getting really worked up about something which, in the context of so many other threats to Christianity, doesn't appear to be as much of a threat as it is being portrayed.

I thought this was a great editorial on the subject.

This is a cool website to peruse, set up by the Catholic Church. Hey, they should have a pretty good grip on church history, right?

Anyway, it's definitely on my reading list. Somewhere behind the latest Harry Potter.

Speaking of good books, The Hangman's Curse by Frank Peretti really freaked me out. It's written for teens, but it gave me the chills like any of his other books. Don't read it late at night.

Did I mention that I was in the book? Read it, and you'll understand.

One more reason I hate mushrooms

I say we nuke'em first.

Not much to report here. Kids have been sick on and off for the last three weeks, and that starts to get a little old.

On the brighter side of things, my addictive personality has found a new drug: Super Monkey Ball 2. Don't laugh, it's fun. In fact, budget gaming in general is the way to go, as far as I'm concerned. I'm not a teenager or college student, so I don't feel out of the loop for not owning the "latest and greatest." I've only had my Gamecube for the last year or so, so there is a wealth of cheap thrills to be had.

Speaking of cheap thrills... What are they going to call this stuff, when it finally hits the market? Maybe we should call the folks over at Herbal Essences or AXE Body Spray for ideas... after all, if this does what it says it does, they're ALL going to be looking for work. What a sick world.

We were at my folks' house last weekend for some quality family time, which means we were glued to the TV almost the entire time. (It's their fault, really... WE didn't make them get cable.) Anyway, my wife, oldest son, and I were watching an episode of Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. It was called "The Trouble With Scribbles." After we saw it, my wife hit me with the notion that it was a very lighthearted yet poignant commentary on abortion. Wow. I think she's right... and again, she wins the prize for deepest, coolest, smartest person on planet Earth. *swoon*

Gotta go now. Keep your fingers crossed for me. Post a comment, and if my wife doesn't want to go to L.A. with me, maybe I'll take YOU.*

(*but probably not, since my sister's a Nintendo freak too.)

I see red, and I want to break things.

Boy, the hits keep on coming...

This weekend my older boy woke up from his afternoon nap in a pool of his own vomit. This was followed by several shots of diarrhea. Since my younger son had already been sick with diarrhea (and extremely bad diaper rash), I thought it would be best if I stayed home on Monday to help my wife out with the kids.

Monday, the older one seemed perfectly recovered, and since I had already called in a sub, I made use of my time doing some laundry, my taxes, and keeping an eye on the baby while my wife and son ran some errands.

This morning, I'm getting ready to lecture 3rd period, and a note comes from the office...

XXXX is sick, please call XXXXXXXX at his school.

Oh no.

The only reason they would call me is if they couldn't find my wife. I leave class and rush to the nearest phone. I call home, and sure enough, she's not there. I remember that she had some errands to run, and had planned to be out of the house for a few hours. We don't have cell phones, so I call every place that I could remember that she had told me she might be going. No dice.

After what seems like a lifetime of calls--to his school, our house, various stores, church, etc.--I finally try one of her friends, and she agrees to pick him up until my wife can be found.

I head back upstairs a nervous wreck, just in time for the end of 3rd period.

Then it happens.

One of my students asks me "Is anything wrong?"

I blow my top. I yell at the kid, "quit asking! Why do you think I'd tell you if anything was wrong? What kind of a relationship do you think we have here? Just shut up!"

Okay. Insanity now a few hours behind me, I think I can start to explain what happened. Not rationalize. Not excuse. Just explain.

First of all, 3rd period is my hardest class. There are eleven people in there (at the moment--it changes frequently), and most of them are failing. For some it's because they genuinely find it hard. For most, however, it's attitude. They just don't care. About themselves. About their grades. About graduating. About anything.

So I guess I got offended. My brain said, "what indication have you ever given me that you actually care about anything, and why start now? And if you (as I suspect) just want to see what's wrong so you can enjoy the fact, then screw you. I know you don't like me, so don't pretend to."

My brain says things like this all of the time, but usually there's enough of a buffer in place to keep things like this from ever making it to my mouth. But apparently the feelings of helplessness I was feeling were enough to short-circuit this system out, because out came the words. I just couldn't stop myself.

Now I know I owe this student (and his entire class, and probably anybody else in smalltownpodunkvillehighschoolu.s.a.) an apology, but I'm not sure at the moment if I can bring myself to do it. Because right now I don't really feel sorry. I'm just mad. And I'm not sure what good it would do, anyway. It's not like this class respected me before now, so I can't say I lost their respect today.

God, it sucks being an adult sometimes.

Just two more days of class until Easter weekend. Gee, what else could go wrong?

...I'll let you know when it does.

Curb my enthusiasm

Blargh.

It's the doldrums here at Lockney High. OAP is over, it's still two weeks until TAKS, and something like 50 percent of my students are gone every other day for track, tennis, golf, orthodontics, or birthin' babies.

I pledged to keep myself busy through the end of the week on the pile of ungraded papers which have been threatening to eat my desk since at least St. Patrick's Day or so. About 10:30 AM yesterday I finished those, and now I can only sit idly by as my few remaining kids scramble madly to finish a project I assigned them on Wednesday, which is due Monday. The idea was to keep them busy learning while I finished grading their papers... which I did. Yesterday. Like I said.

I love Pandora. Who would have known that I actually liked a Donny Osmond song?

I can feel myself slipping back into the madness of addiction. It's a good thing I don't have broadband at home--I'd never sleep.

Did you ever have a day when you actually felt guilty for getting paid for doing your job? Honestly, JoJo the talking ape could have shown up today and done what I've been doing, for a lot cheaper. True, I'm a lot less likely to throw my feces at the students when they make me mad, but still...

I guess it's days like today that make me really question why I got into education. My teachers probably thought I'd be freakin' president, or cure cancer or something. But, a high school teacher? Am I really doing my students a favor by being the one who yaks at them about mold and molecules day after day?

What would it be like to have a "real" job, working 50 weeks a year, 40 hours a week? I guess I'd probably get bored there too, and I wouldn't have crazydramafunnypervert teenagers around to cheer me up.

Oh yeah. That's why I'm here. The kids. I love the kids. How do I seem to forget as often as I do?

Like Audrey tells me to do, I should probably stop "gimping" about it and get back to work. I'm sure I can go plan... something.

My wife's family is coming for Easter. I love those guys. It's going to be fun.